Brothers Find Hope and Support at Mercy Home

When brothers Josh and Caleb moved into Mercy Home last summer, nobody could’ve guessed that they had spent the first six years of their lives living apart from one another.  

Born with different physical disabilities, Josh and Caleb were both abandoned in China after their births. They spent their early years living in separate orphanages, a period of time neither vividly remembers. But Caleb recalls that the orphanage he lived in was overpopulated, and he grew accustomed to fighting for food.  

The two were adopted in the United States eight months apart. Josh quickly underwent several major surgeries to address multiple physical issues associated with arthrogryposis multiplex congenita, a condition that is characterized by limited joint motion and under-development of muscle tissue and requires him to use a wheelchair for long distances.  

“The doctor broke my bone in the surgery room [while reshaping my feet and ankles] because he didn’t know how brittle my bones were,” Josh said.  

Growing up, both Josh and Caleb were bullied because of their disabilities. Caleb has also been diagnosed with arthrogryposis and originally was not able to straighten his legs, but additionally has “Nail-Patella Syndrome,” both of which cause him to walk differently than others because he doesn’t have a kneecap, the ligaments are very tight, and the lack of a knee cap reduces leg strength.  

“I think the most empathetic people are those who have a really broken past and know what others are going through because they went through it themselves,” Caleb said. “I’m really empathetic. I understand pain deeper and that is because I went through so many things that children and toddlers shouldn’t go through.” 

Daily tasks with their physical challenges are not easy. It took Josh roughly five years to learn how to write well and his lack of bicep muscles even make drinking water a challenge. But Josh is always uncomfortable when attention is drawn to his disability.  

“Josh is the ultimate proof that it’s not a disability; it’s a different ability,” Jake Pizzitola, Josh’s education and career resource coordinator at Mercy Home, said. “He’s got different abilities.” 

One of those abilities is his drive. At school, he was a member of the chess club and involved in a youth group. He participates in everything that’s offered at Mercy Home, including Soccer Club and Taekwondo Club. He’s also been tapped to speak at numerous Mercy Home events as a youth leader. Last fall, when one of his peers at Mercy Home had a playoff soccer game in the pouring rain, Josh hopped on a coworker’s back to get a prime seat at the top of the bleachers. 

 “Josh has been gifted with a drive that so many people could never achieve,” Pizzitola said.  

But life in America hasn’t always been easy. The transition from an orphanage to a family brought unique challenges. Caleb struggled to adjust to his new home environment where his resources were provided for him.  

“I wasn’t exactly the kindest,” Caleb said. “I stole a lot, I lied a lot, thinking that it was going to get me somewhere. I burned bridges, I really hated my family, I really hated myself, and I really hated life. … The only person I was close to was my brother. We stayed together through our crimes and the consequences.” 

When Josh was six years old, he asked his sister where in China she came from. Unbeknownst to him, she was born in America to Josh’s adopted parents.  

“I thought everyone came from China like me,” Josh said. “It hit me differently when she said that.  I thought I wasn’t normal. I shut down and I didn’t process it properly. I got angry at my parents.” 

Josh was bullied and young enough to believe everything they said. At eight years old, he was diagnosed with severe depression and he attempted suicide three times. 

“Self-harm was my way of feeling the pain that was in my heart and in my mind,” Josh said. “It was so I could feel the pain in a way that I could process. Thank the Lord that I’m still here today. I’m now able to share my experience with everyone and can use it as a testimony.”   

Throughout his teenage years, Josh’s parents were concerned for his mental health. They proposed the idea of Mercy Home as a last resort. And Caleb wasn’t going to let his brother go by himself. 

“I wanted to be there with my brother because I didn’t want him to be alone,” Caleb said. “It’s also going to give me a new experience, a new culture, a new way of living, and the best part is it’s going to change me. And it has changed me.” 

At first, the boys were inseparable. At Garden Club in one of their first days at the Home, they picked weeds together, away from the rest of the group.  

“I wouldn’t have been able to make it through the beginning of Mercy Home without him,” Josh said. “He was the only thing I relied on. If he wasn’t here, that would’ve been too much.” 

But as time passed, they became more independent.  

“We were very guarded over each other at first,” Josh said. “We only had each other at that moment. Now, we tick each other off. It’s fun to share the [gossip] between programs. As time moved on, we started getting into a groove.” 

At Mercy Home, Caleb learned that his lying was a sign of a bigger issue. He’d never fully processed his trauma and with the help of an advocate, therapist and supportive community, he has thrived at Mercy Home.  

“I think my self-awareness has changed the most,” he said. “I used to be big skulled and wouldn’t admit that I needed to change. I used to think toxically and resent things and now I’m stopping myself and asking myself why I think certain things.” 

When Emilio Munoz, Caleb’s education and career resource coordinator, first met the boys, he said that they both asked a lot of questions and were very intellectual. They wanted to inform themselves of what Mercy Home offered and what exactly they were getting themselves into.  

“At their age, it’s hard to expect that from kids, but it’s good that they started doing this,” Munoz said. “Sometimes, guys struggle here because they don’t understand why they’re coming here and that makes a big difference.” 

Academically, Josh struggled before he came to Mercy Home. He lacked the motivation and focus to stay on top of his schoolwork, but he rarely had issues grasping the material. Mercy Home helped Josh enroll at Chicago Hope Academy and immediately, he thrived.  

 “He was very excited to be going to Chicago Hope and they were excited for him to be going there,” Pizzitola said. “That inspired him to succeed much more than he had been at his previous school. He’s such a sociable kid that he didn’t really need much help getting introduced or meeting people there either.” 

Caleb also attended Chicago Hope with his brother this past year. He’s excelled in the classroom, currently in the top three in his class, and earned a Mercy Home Scholarship for his future education. But Munoz said that he’s grown the most socially this year.  

“Caleb has always maximized opportunities to do after-school activities,” Munoz said. If he could, he would join every club possible. He’s just curious and wanting to learn more and expand his horizon.” 

As Josh and Caleb reflected on their special bond, they both refused to call anything more than it is. They’re just teenage brothers.  

“I just think of him as my brother that ticks me off and does things that a brother does,” Josh said. “I think of the first way to tick him off or vice versa. But we’re very protective of each other. If someone bullies him, I’m right behind him ready to defend him. You do something to him, you’re doing the same thing to me.” 

And when Josh and Caleb leave Mercy Home, they’ll do so in the same way they arrived: together.   

“I’m going to miss my brothers the most,” Josh said. “Not my brother, brothers. For me, family is not by blood. You pick your family.  I got brothers who will fight for me and who are there for me.”

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