There’s a story of a priest who begins his homily by saying, “Everyone in this parish will one day die.” And the elderly man in the first pew begins to laugh. The priest says in a more agitated voice, “Everyone in this parish will one day die.” The old guy in the first pew is laughing his guts out. The priest says, “Let me make it real clear. Every adult man, woman, child in this parish will one day die.” The old guy’s laughing so hard, he falls over the pew. The priest says, “Excuse me, what seems to be so funny?” The guy says, “I don’t belong to this parish.”

The elderly man missed the entire point. And we sometimes miss the real meaning and purpose of prayer. If we think the purpose of prayer is to change God’s mind, that God is somehow going to come whipping in from the outside, we’re in for a very huge disappointment. The purpose of prayer is not to change God, but rather to change me. Don’t ask God necessarily to change something. Ask that we may find God in everything. The purpose of prayer is for strength, acceptance, peace of mind, and courage to accept what is, with God’s help. And don’t only ask why. Also ask, “So what am I going to do about this with the help and strength of God?” Prayer does not change God. Prayer changes the one praying. Prayer is critical for the believer. But what is prayer, what’s the purpose of prayer?

In today’s Gospel, Jesus tells a parable on the necessity of praying always and never losing heart. We should pray for the sick, for those suffering. It’s good to pray for Aunt Tilly to be cured of cancer, absolutely yes. But that shouldn’t be the total focus of prayer. Prayers also deal with our relationship with God. God is our source, our hope, our sustain and our destiny. Our prayers to seek strength, comfort and inspiration and acceptance, and not only a prayer that says, “If I say 10 rosaries, then God must do this.” Those would be manipulation, where prayer contingent upon changing God’s mind.

Is it okay to pray for something in prayer? Absolutely yes. Why? Because we’re all needy and that’s okay. People who are needy need hope. Prayer is not what we do to God. Prayer’s what God is trying to do in us. Prayer’s not so much my trying to get God’s attention. Prayer’s God trying to get my attention. We don’t quite pray to find God. We pray that God will find us. We may not be able to direct the winds, we can always adjust our sails.